It took me nearly 2 hours to get home from work Friday night and I was in a great mood when I got home. My hubby was shocked. So was I.
Just a few days ago this would have sent me spiraling. Ever been through one of those times when nothing… literally nothing… makes you happy? And the slightest thing sets you off? You find yourself grumbling and complaining from sunrise to bedtime and no matter how much you understand this is a rotten way to exist, you can’t stop. Anybody? Anyone? Ok, so just me? Ha. Well I perfected it.
I’m admitting that I have spent the past few months (many more than I care to acknowledge) as the leader of the U.S. Grumblers Society. You name it – I hated it. I had complaints loaded and ready to fire at unsuspecting family and friends at all hours of the day and night. I was aggravated, irritated and frustrated. It didn’t matter whether the sun was shining or if it was raining cats and dogs, I was unhappy. I wanted to change my house, my car, my phone, my job and my hair color. I didn’t feel good about my life, my church, my family, my fitness level or the products I used to clean my floor. No matter what situation I found myself in, I didn’t like it. Sadly, I told anyone who would listen.
Life had kicked me in the gut. My family had experienced the sudden and tragic loss of my sister. (That’s as hard to write as it is to believe even more than a year later.) My reaction was to withdraw and apparently become so miserable that nothing could make me happy. I suppose on some level happy equaled forgetting what had happened. Forgetting what had happened meant forgetting her. Not realizing what was happening to me, I let sadness take hold and grow into bitterness. I let bitterness spawn anger and discontent. And all of these negative emotions banded together to transform me into the Tasmanian devil of grumbling.
One morning on the way to work, a sweet friend reached out to me. As we talked I heard myself say things I knew weren’t me. Who had I become? Hebrews 12:15 rushed into my mind:
“See to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble.” Hebrews 12:15
I guarantee you had my husband been in the car, he would have screamed hallelujah at my epiphany. Loudly.
I let that scripture roll around in my head all day, knowing I needed to make changes and purposed that I would take baby steps to address my problem, er problems. God didn’t want small steps. He had something bigger in mind. He showed me Philippians 2.
Do y’all know what’s in Philippians 2? Well I didn’t and oh my goodness… I was stunned when I read verse 14 –
“Do everything without grumbling or arguing…” Philippians 2:14
Wow. Thou shalt not grumble. That’s biblical. It’s in there. God put that in there for me. #dropthemic
Here I am grumbling at the world and God so gently, but poignantly showed me that’s not the way He wants me to behave. Regardless of life’s circumstances, He is my very present help in time of need. He will help, I just need to trust him, depend on him and not resort to grumbling at every whipstitch (that’s southern for at every opportunity). That message changed me and my family and friends are thankful. I am thankful.
And I am happy to say I turned in my grumbling society membership card.
♥ Special thanks to my sweet sister Angel who made me my cape and thus helped start “Cape-wearing Mom”. She made my pink cape with the letter “A” on it for me because she thought I was a “super mom” and needed one. I love it. She was so kind, thoughtful and loving. We miss her so much it hurts, but we know she’s in Heaven waiting for us. Love you always, Angel.