Is It Time Yet?

This may be the most popular question parents will hear over the next few weeks. Yes new parents, trust me. If your kid can so much as form four words, these are the words they will be uttering repeatedly. Is it time to open presents? Is it time for Santa? Is it time to go?…

TP Talk Take 2

As you all know, toilet paper replenishment is near and dear to my heart. During this holiday season, I would like to thank all those who are spreading love and cheer by changing toilet paper rolls across our great nation. Your sacrifice is recognized and appreciated. Alas, our work is not done. There are those…

Step Into the Bubble

My therapist said I'm "salvageable". That's an exact quote from Mike Ryan at Leading Edge Physical Therapy. Yes, after 5 weeks of therapy he proclaimed me not hopelessly broken. I was encouraged. Then I went back and they put grocery bags on my feet and told me to walk in a bubble. True story. I…

Let’s Talk Toilet Paper

It's widely known that I am a self-proclaimed restroom aficionado. Public, private, large, small, clean, not so clean, indoor, outdoor, baseball fields, airplanes, eco-friendly flushing systems, no flushing capability at all. You name it, I've tested it. Anatomical issues aside,  just trust me when I say I'm qualified to speak on the subject. Part of my role…

My Legs Don’t Go That Way

Physical Therapy. Sounds like a good thing right? I mean it's therapy. By definition therapy is "treatment designed to relieve or heal." But I'm on to them now. Oh yes, I figured out their game. It's PE in disguise. And I hated PE. This so-called therapy is all a facade to get you in the…

What’s in the Shadows?

It's dark as pitch at 5:30 a.m. I know this because I walk my neighborhood every morning before work (ok, ok most mornings). Oh sure I carry a flashlight, but it does very little to dispel the darkness.  Who knows what's lurking in those shadows? As I step out my front door, my surveillance tactics are…