I Almost Saved the Bird.

Driving home from the gym the other day (another whole story in itself), I saw 3 birds on the side of the road. I mean they were alive. They were just standing there. The thing is, two of them were in the fenced in area with the cows and one was standing on the outside […]

When Acorns Attack

OMG. You think I’m kidding, exaggerating, etc. I assure you. This is our reality. If you don’t believe me, walk up our front sidewalk. The poor UPS guy got hit in the next the other day and he nearly dropped my package. It looked like a scene straight from the movie Ace Ventura Pet Detective.

Let’s Talk Turkey.

I’m embarrassed to admit this. Like really embarrassed. I’m actually afraid the Coalition of Southern Women is going to come take my card. It’s only a matter of time before they find out this appalling truth. It’s shameful. It’s anti-southern. It’s just plain disgraceful to the generations of strong southern women before me. I, April […]

If You Ever See Me Running

It’s pretty well known that I am not athletic nor do I enjoy anything remotely resembling exercise. In fact I’m about to tell you a story that not one of my friends would ever believe actually happened. I would go so far as to say that if you were to bet any one of them […]

It Was Stolen and It Was My Fault

You know that feeling when you are so proud and happy and excited about something you waited a long time for? You just feel so good when you have the long-awaited thing. Like on top of the world, get out of my way, I’m going to bask in the joy of this moment and forget […]

You Don’t Have to Live With It

Take it off?! Wait, you mean I don’t have to live with it? It could be erased, just like that? Gone? As if it had never been there at all?

Everything is Different, Mom.

For 14 years I have longed for this day. I have dreamed of it. I have planned for it. I have tried to make it come faster to no avail. I’ve wished. I’ve hoped. I’ve been anxious, excited, ecstatic, and full of anticipation. And alas, today…today…today is it! We are taking down that horrible wallpaper. […]

When Your Kid Has a Car Accident…

Time stopped. I saw the phone ringing. I knew where he was heading. And I knew without hearing a word what had happened. My son had gotten in an accident. Call it a mother’s intuition, but I didn’t have to hear a word to know that something was wrong. As I heard the details, everything […]

The Day I Had a Root Canal

I know root canals are no walk in the park for anyone. But for me, having a root canal was like a walk through hell itself. That is, until I discovered a little dental secret. I went in for my root canal one Friday morning. I had prepared myself physically and mentally for this. I was […]

If You Look Backwards Too Long, You’ll Wreck

It’s the end of a year and the beginning of a new one. While I love celebrating, I have never understood the fascination with new year’s resolutions and the “new year, new you” movement. I mean a fresh start is great, but the world doesn’t magically change between 11:59 p.m. and 12:00 a.m. on December […]